There are those times when the perfect book comes along at the perfect time. From the minute The Lost Bookshop, by Evie Woods, arrived in the mail, I felt a pull to begin reading. For some odd reason though, I ignored it and chose another book.
Yet...there it sat, continually calling to me. I am so glad I finally relented. The irony of the pull I felt toward the book and the appearance and disappearance of books, as well as the lost book shop, throughout the story, is not lost on me. I find the eerie coincidence more serendipitous than concerning though.
This is a magical story of "Troublesome women with inconvenient ideas," being pushed to their brinks and the resulting guilt, shame and self judgement. Its most endearing quality, however, is that it's also a story of resilience and finding happiness while eschewing societal and familial expectations.
As I was reading, I could not ignore the parallels with the current turmoil in my own professional life. I even laughed out loud when the main character, Martha, said, 'You think it's strange that a woman has been silenced? Forgotten about? Written out of history? Henry, what have they been teaching you?'
Though many times I was also brought to tears that the author was able to so poignantly put into words exactly what I was feeling, and providing a character to talk some sense into me as well.
'Being an outsider can be a good thing,' she said, returning to our previous conversation.
'You think? It seems to me it would have been much easier if we could've just fitted in.'
'Heaven forfend, Martha! Conformity is a death sentence! No, my dear, you must embrace what makes you stand out. That's what they despise. It's the circle of hell in this life - blaming children for being who they are, because we were blamed and our parents before us. If you're not harming anyone, why try to change who you are?'
'I don't know. I never thought of it that way. All I know is that I feel so angry with myself all the time. Like I'll never be good enough for them, so why even try?'
'Good enough for whom? For people who are trapped in a life that is not of their own making? Surely you can see that they merely want you to be trapped with them so they will feel less alone in their emptiness. Be careful, Martha, you'll become blind to your own value if you keep looking through the eyes of the bourgeoisie!'
And I was wrestling with the decision to stand up and speak out for myself and others who are being hurt, I read this:
'There is an old saying, Before you set out on a journey of revenge, you must dig two graves,' said a woman's voice, deepened by time and wisdom....
'Confucius said that,' she warned, fearing the endeavor would somehow destroy me too. 'Are you sure you want to go through with this?'
'I need to own my story. To take back my power.' ... I was shamed into silence. Ashamed of what happened to me, of how I had somehow 'let' it happen to me and of how people would look on me now, as some sort of damaged woman. I felt tainted by it ... I had isolated myself from the world because of it. Was I ready to return? Maybe not, but then, does one ever feel truly ready? All I knew was that, in that moment, I had suffered enough in my silence. At least the pain of speaking out might bring me courage."
In an exchange about the main setting of the quirky old house, one of the characters states, "Some things are meant to be flawed. Therein lies the beauty."
So true, yet, in my opinion this book, and the timing of its arrival in my life, are beautifully flawless.
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